Advice if you're moving to Texas

"3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their
way.
This is what they live for.

5. Remember: 'Y'all' is singular. 'All y'all' is plural. 'All y'all's' is plural possessive.

17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is.

24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance
to the door, but the availability of shade."